Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
