Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
