Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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