By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
