PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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