More tranny stories later!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
