It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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