He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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