Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
