I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
