I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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