my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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