I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
