This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We got so high we made milksteak
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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