If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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