I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
