I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
