Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
