HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
