Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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