Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
