Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
