You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
