i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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