Where did you get a picture of my penis
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You left your phone here
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