We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
