have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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