So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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