I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
