I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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