so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
