Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
