Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think my moral compass just broke
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
