i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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