come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
