lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Someone shit on the floor
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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