I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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