mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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