listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
