SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
