I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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