Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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