I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
