she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
