The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
