The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
