Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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