im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
