i already hear my dad disowning me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize