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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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