Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
