Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
