Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize