after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
