I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
