I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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