Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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