the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i've created a new STD.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
