wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
