I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
