How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
no, he came in my armpit
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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