Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
