Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize